Blazed and Confused

mojosodope178:

at-boundary-conditions:

what if humans have cheat codes like if you jump 14 times and then punch + kick ok awesome now i can walk on water and do calculus

Have you tried up down up down left right left right B A start?

65,677 notes + reblog | via + source

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”

Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”

Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”

Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”

(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

11,888 notes + reblog | via + source

150,467 notes + via + source

96,884 notes + via + source

waywardholly:

everyone was arguing whether there was an admin or not

1,196 notes + via + source

3,116 notes + via + source

Kanye West getting deep on twitter

203,824 notes + via + source

sexualdesigns:

Those moments. Those entire nights. You have her all to yourself. She just lies there watching the movie infront of you. Her arms tucked up infront of her. Her hands nestled beneath her head. You watch how her body moves as she breaths. Your eyes roaming all over her skin. Then you touch her, just resting you upon her hip softly. She jumps a little, turns and smiles at you then returns to the film. You feel warm, a blissful feeling as your fingers trip their way over her skin. She purrs and scrunches her shoulders in quiet contentment sensing the movements without watching. Shuffling backward against you, safe, happy, yours

sexualdesigns:

Those moments. Those entire nights. You have her all to yourself. She just lies there watching the movie infront of you. Her arms tucked up infront of her. Her hands nestled beneath her head. You watch how her body moves as she breaths. Your eyes roaming all over her skin. Then you touch her, just resting you upon her hip softly. She jumps a little, turns and smiles at you then returns to the film. You feel warm, a blissful feeling as your fingers trip their way over her skin. She purrs and scrunches her shoulders in quiet contentment sensing the movements without watching. Shuffling backward against you, safe, happy, yours

15,702 notes + via + source